Waiting
by kaydee falls
Summary: Not a fanfic! Yes, I actually wrote a play using my own characters! A year in the life of a detached high school student. Please, someone read & review it.


Waiting

  


  
CAST OF CHARACTERS: (in order of appearance)  
All high school sophomores at Peter T. Farrell High School, in a town on the Connecticut coast  
  
Katie Falls: Nickname, Crazy Katie. The central character, but rarely partakes in action of play. A loner. Somewhat paranoid, computer genius, distrustful, intrigued by weird theories and religions.  
  
May Silvo: A pacifist. Friendly, kind, accepting and open but skeptical, passive, content but never really happy. Katie's best friend.  
  
Andy Nichols: A jock, but life doesn't revolve around sports. Single-minded, stubborn, generally easy-going.  
  
Tammy Mallone: A brain, but not a geek. Wears stylish glasses, quite pretty. New girl at school. Tries to get along with everyone.  
  
Jake Skyler: A typical teenager. A little immature, opinionated, aggressive, but usually nice enough.  
  
Rachel Sutherland: A ditz. Not too bright. Frivolous, anxious, always in mild state of confusion. Naive.  
  
Evan Young: An asshole. Strongly opinionated, pessimistic, thinks the worst of everything, always speaks his mind, doesn't care about anyone, but occasionally tones it down.  
  
Annie Gray: A bitch. Antisocial, self-centered, condescending, hates just about everything and everyone, irritable. Again, tones it down occasionally.  
  
Matthew Dugan: A player. Somewhat egotistical, good-looking, knows how to get his way. Doesn't really care enough about the world around him to be mean.  
  
Dave Lukowsky: An observer. Another computer genius, keeps to himself but always watches and listens to others intently. Katie's biggest defender; his attraction to her is unstated but obvious.  
  
TIMESPAN: The play takes place over the course of about a year, from September to July. No definite indication of the time except for beginning & ending, none needed.  
  
SETTING: A beach on a summer night in the present. Lots of stars. Sound of waves.  
  
AT RISE: KATIE is sitting alone center stage, looking up intently at the sky. She ignores anyone else onstage (unless they are speaking directly to her) and stays in the same place, even as other scenes are going on around her. In the opening scene, all the other kids are spread out in a wide semicircle around her. As each speaks, a spotlight comes up on them.  
  


MAY  


The kids at school call her Crazy Katie. You can't blame them, really. I mean, even I call her that, and I'm her best friend.  


  
ANDY  


That is, inasmuch as she has a best friend. We all like her a lot, but she'sstrange. That's one of the reasons we like her, I guess. You never know what she'll do next.  
  


TAMMY  


It's hard to pinpoint the origins of her weirdness. I get the impression she's always been like this, but then, I don't know her as well as some people.  
  


JAKE  


She's not just freaky, she's also really smart and focused in her freakiness. And it's not the sort of thing you could see from the outside. She looks as normal as any of us.  
  


RACHEL  


Define I think she's perfectly normal, in, like, a strange, out there sort of way. Nothing wrong with that.  
  


EVAN  


She's one of those people who's really into space age stuff. Like, UFOs and shit like that. A Too much X-Files and Star Trek, if you ask me.  
  


ANNIE  


It has nothing to do with a TV show. In my opinion, it stems from something else. She probably just hates her life, like the rest of us, so she's searching elsewhere.  
  


MATTHEW  


I don't see what the big deal is about Crazy Katie. So she likes different stuff than we do. No problem. Who cares?  
  


DAVE  


It's really very simple. She believes in aliens, she's dissatisfied with her life, she's extremely intelligent and intense, and she's paranoid as all hell.  
  
(all spotlights go off, leaving KATIE alone, again. The others exit)  
  


KATIE  


(continues staring at sky) I'm not paranoid. Everyone really is out to get me.  
  
(lights come up on a high school cafeteria. All but KATIE and TAMMY are seated around one long table, eating typical school fare. RACHEL is not eating)  
  


RACHEL  


(eyes food disgustedly) This stuff is so painfully gross.  
  


EVAN  


Yeah, go ahead, spread some September cheer, Rachel.  
  


RACHEL  


(to ANDY, who is busy stuffing himself) How can you, like, eat it?  
  


ANDY  


(mouth full, shrugs) Tastes all right to me. (RACHEL looks faintly ill)  
  


JAKE  


When in school, eat like the students do.  
  


ANNIE  


Or don't. (sighs) I hate September.  
  


MAY  


You hate everything.  
  


ANNIE  


You gotta admit, September is pretty lousy.  
  
(TAMMY enters with lunch tray, uncertainly. JAKE nudges MATTHEW, hard)  
  


JAKE  


New chick! New chick!  
  


MATTHEW  


I got eyes, stupid. (appraises TAMMY) Very nice.  
  
(TAMMY walks over hesitantly)  
  


TAMMY  


Uh, hi. My name is Tammy. I was instructed to sit with you.  
  


ANNIE  


Beg pardon?  
  


TAMMY  


(gestures offstage) This girl, Katie, I was talking to her in class, she said I could eat lunch with you guys.  
  


EVAN  


(laughs) You poor child. The first person you meet in PTF High is Crazy Katie.  
  


MAY  


Don't be a jerk, Evan. (to TAMMY) So sit. I'm May. Ignore Evan. He doesn't really take to Crazy Katie. (EVAN shrugs and resumes eating)  
  


TAMMY  


(sitting) Why is she, um, crazy? She was nice enough to me.  
  


JAKE  


Who said anything about her not being nice? (extends a hand, cheesy grin) I'm Jake, by the way. (TAMMY shakes his hand nervously)  
  


ANDY  


(pensively) Why is she crazy? Is that the million dollar question or what? What makes Katie tick? (continues stuffing himself)  
  


MATTHEW  


So, new chick, my name is Matthew.  
  


TAMMY  


New chick?  
  


MATTHEW  


(shrugs, points to JAKE) I didn't make it up. Ask him.  
  


JAKE  


(to MATTHEW) This would be a good time to shut up, my friend.  
  


RACHEL  


Anyways, hi! I'm Rachel. It's so great to meet you.  
  


ANNIE  


Uh-huh. (forces smile) My name is Annie. (turns back to food)  
  


MAY  


You should probably ignore her, too. The guy with his face in the mystery meat is Andy.  
  


ANDY  


(indignant, mouth full) Hey! (swallows) Nice to meetcha. (resumes gorging)  
  


MAY  


And the Invisible Man over there is Dave. (TAMMY obviously didn't see him before, reacts) Get used to not noticing him. He's got it down to an art.  
  


DAVE  


I thought you said Katie was coming?  
  


TAMMY  


I, uh, don't know. She just pointed you all out and said to sit here. Why?  
  


DAVE  


(shrugs) She usually eats with us.  
  


MATTHEW  


If she bothers eating at all.  
  


RACHEL  


(pokes morosely at food) I feel her pain.  
  


TAMMY  


I still don't comprehend why you call her Crazy Katie. She seemed normal to me.  
  


JAKE  


Well, what did you talk to her about?  
  


TAMMY  


Just, um, how to correctly solve trigonometry problems and how not to get lost between the locker hallway and the cafeteria.  
  


RACHEL  


(shudders, to herself) I'd love to know how to solve trig problems, myself.  
  


JAKE  


(ignores RACHEL) Yeah, I guess even Crazy Katie would be hard-pressed to work any close encounters of the third kind into trig.  
  


ANDY  


You never know.  
  


TAMMY  


I don't follow.  
  


EVAN  


Any conversation with Katie usually ends up along the lines of aliens, paranoia, or astrological guidance crap.  
  


TAMMY  


I still don't follow.  
  


MAY  


I think he put it pretty clearly. Evan's never been known for his subtlety.  
  


TAMMY  


Maybe for you, that's clear. But I'd rather live by the philosophy that when people aren't making sense, tell them.  
  


ANNIE  


(snorts) In that case, I should be talking to Crazy Katie a lot more.  
  


TAMMY  


Okay, so I've gotten the impression that she's a little out there—  
  


ANNIE  


(interrupts) A little?  
  


TAMMY  


—but so her interests are different. So what?  
  


MATTHEW  


I hear you, sweetheart.  
  


TAMMY  


It just doesn't make sense that being interested in, say, E.T. should earn her the nickname   
  


JAKE  


Actually, I think she likes it.  
  


EVAN  


She just wants to be special shit, so she attracts attention by being an idiot and rambling on about UFOs and the zodiac and us all being test subjects and shit.  
  


DAVE  


Maybe she's just more focused than the rest of us.  
  


EVAN  


Maybe she's just a bitch.  
  


MAY  


Maybe you should shut up, because she's coming to join us now. (they all turn to look offstage)  
  


RACHEL  


Hey Katie! (waves to someone just offstage) Did you find anything, like, edible? Cause I sure didn't.  
  
(lights down on them, they exit)  
  


KATIE  


They actually think that if I heard them talking about me, I'd care. (snorts) They think I don't hear them anyway?  
  
(lights come on a locker hallway. The four girls enter, with backpacks, notebooks, etc.)  
  


TAMMY  


Thank God for lunch. If I had to spend one more nanosecond in science, I think I was going to die of boredom.  
  


RACHEL  


I have a math test next period, and I'm, like, gonna fail. I don't understand any of it!  
  


ANNIE  


So get Katie to help you cram, she's good at that. Hey, where is she, anyway?  
  


MAY  


Detention, I think. Ms. Miller caught her and Dave trying to hack into the school's security system.  


  
ANNIE  


Now, why were they trying to do that?  
  


MAY  


You think I understand the half of it? Something having to do with security cameras and behavioral monitoring.  
  


TAMMY  


So wait, are they trying to monitor our behavior, or are they accusing the school of doing so?  
  


MAY  


Well, let's not forget Katie's nickname for good old PTF High.  
  


ANNIE  


Ah yes, the Psychological Testing Facility High School.  
  


RACHEL  


I still don't know, like, who our school is named after, anyway.  
  


TAMMY  


Peter T. Farrell.  
  


RACHEL  


Yeah, but who the hell was he?  
  


TAMMY  


Damned if I know.  
  


RACHEL  


Wait, so Katie, like, tried to hack into security? To, like, stop the mind control or something? I am so confused.  


  
MAY  


That's Crazy Katie for you.  
  
(fade out on the girls and locker hallway)  
  


KATIE  


(still looking at sky) Mind _control_? They've got to be kidding me. I wouldn't credit our high school with anything that sophisticated. There's a difference between controlling and monitoring.  
  
(lights up on same locker hallway. MATTHEW and DAVE are doing homework. JAKE enters)  
  


JAKE  


(to MATTHEW; doesn't notice DAVE) Hey, Matthew, do me a favor?  
  


MATTHEW  


(still focused on homework) Let's hear it first.  
  


JAKE  


Be supportive? I've gotta ask for some advice.  
  


MATTHEW  


Wrong friend.  
  


JAKE  


C'mon, man, just this once.  
  


MATTHEW  


(resigned, looks up) I'll try.  
  


JAKE  


(paces) There's this girl, right? Well, I think I'm in love with her. Okay, I _know_ I'm in love with her.  
  
(DAVE starts watching them)  
  


MATTHEW  


All right.  
  


JAKE  


(expectant) So?  
  


MATTHEW  


So _what_?  
  


JAKE  


So what should I do?  
  


MATTHEW  


(derisive) That's it?  
  


JAKE  


What do you mean, that's it? I'm serious!  
  


MATTHEW  


I mean, don't I get any background? Who's the girl?  
  


JAKE  


It doesn't matter.  
  


MATTHEW  


It's your new chick, right?  
  


JAKE  


Who, Tammy? Oh. No. No, I think she's pretty, is all. But no. It doesn't matter who the girl is, anyway.  
  


MATTHEW  


So what do you want me to do?  
  


JAKE  


Be supportive.  
  


MATTHEW  


(gives up, turns back to homework) Fine, I support you in loving this anonymous girl.  
  


JAKE  


(desperate) But what should I do?  
  


MATTHEW  


(sighs) You know I'm no good at relationships, Jake. Getting girls, yes; keeping them, no. (thoughtfully) The fun's only in the getting, anyway.  
  


JAKE  


I just need some advice.  
  


MATTHEW  


Well, you love her. What's the problem?  
  


JAKE  


I don't know what to do.  
  


MATTHEW  


(statement) You told her that you love her.  
  


JAKE  


(hedging) Not exactly.  
  


MATTHEW  


You love her?  
  


JAKE  


Yes.  
  


MATTHEW  


(statement) You haven't said anything.  
  


JAKE  


Not exactly.  
  


MATTHEW  


(confused) So you told her.  
  


JAKE  


Not exactly.  
  


MATTHEW  


Explain not exactly.  
  


JAKE  


(looks away) I kinda hinted.  
  


MATTHEW  


You hinted that you love her.  
  


JAKE  


(defensive) Well, she knew.  
  


MATTHEW  


She knows that you love her because you told her.  
  


JAKE  


No, I hinted, but she already kinda knew.  
  


MATTHEW  


You know this?  
  


JAKE  


Not exactly.  
  


MATTHEW  


You hinted.  
  


JAKE  


Right.  
  


MATTHEW  


(exasperated) Don't you know that girls are notoriously bad at hints?  
  


JAKE  


(equally frustrated) Well, what was I supposed to do?  
  


MATTHEW  


Tell her?  
  


JAKE  


(despairing) She doesn't want to hear it.  
  


MATTHEW  


How do you know?  
  


JAKE  


She told me.  
  


MATTHEW  


Even though you didn't tell her that you love her?  
  


JAKE  


Well, I hinted.  
  


MATTHEW  


And she told you that she didn't want to hear it.  
  


JAKE  


She hinted.  
  


MATTHEW  


Do you two ever discuss anything?  
  


JAKE  


(explaining) She doesn't like me.  
  


MATTHEW  


You know this?  
  


JAKE  


Yes.  
  


MATTHEW  


(resigned) She hinted?  
  


JAKE  


You could say that.  
  


MATTHEW  


She told you.  
  


JAKE  


You could say that, too.  
  


MATTHEW  


(double take) Wait a minute. You want to tell her that you love her.  
  


JAKE  


Right.  
  


MATTHEW  


But you know she doesn't even like you.  
  


JAKE  


Exactly.  
  


MATTHEW  


So why the hell do you want to tell her that you love her?!  
  


JAKE  


(accusing) I thought you said you would give me advice!  
  


MATTHEW  


(fed up) Look, you told me to be supportive, and I don't _do_ supportive, but I'm _trying_ to be supportive! You gotta help me out a little here!  
  
(DAVE laughs. They ignore him)  
  


JAKE  


What more do you need to know?  
  


MATTHEW  


Why you love her if she doesn't even like you!  
  


JAKE  


(morosely) I can't help it.  
  


MATTHEW  


Well, don't tell her.  
  


JAKE  


How can I _not_ tell her?! I love her!  
  


MATTHEW  


But she doesn't like you!  
  


JAKE  


So?!  
  


MATTHEW  


Shouldn't that make a difference?  
  


JAKE  


Why?  
  


MATTHEW  


Then tell her.  
  


JAKE  


(wailing) But she hates me!  
  


MATTHEW  


She _hates_ you?  
  


JAKE  


Yes!  
  


MATTHEW  


(sarcastic) I guess she hinted that, too?  
  


JAKE  


You could say that.  
  


MATTHEW  


Why don't you ask her?  
  


JAKE  


Ask her what?  
  


MATTHEW  


If she hates you.  
  


JAKE  


(shocked) I can't do that!  
  


MATTHEW  


(reasonable) Why on earth not?  
  


JAKE  


What if she does?  
  


MATTHEW  


Then you can stop loving her.  
  


JAKE  


(explaining) I can't just stop loving her, Matthew. Don't you understand that?  
  


MATTHEW  


(shrugs) No.  
  


JAKE  


(decisive) I think I'll tell her.  
  


MATTHEW  


(confused) Tell her what?  
  


JAKE  


That I love her.  
  


MATTHEW  


(gives up, goes back to homework) Go right ahead.  
  


JAKE  


Thanks, man. I owe you one. (he heads offstage; a few seconds later, comes back, visibly shaken) Never mind.  
  


MATTHEW  


Back so soon?  
  


JAKE  


She's making out with a senior in the stairwell.  
  


DAVE  


Lovely.  
  


MATTHEW  


(incredulous) Annie? You're in love with _Annie_?!  
  


JAKE  


(accusing) You knew she was there?!  
  


MATTHEW  


Yeah, I knew she was there, but I didn't know you were talking about _her_! You're an idiot!  
  


JAKE  


(heartbroken) I guess I don't love her anymore.  
  


MATTHEW  


Good. (sarcastic) Yeah, just tell her that you love her, it'll solve all your problems.  
  
(DAVE is struck by this, stares in direction of audience thoughtfully. RACHEL enters, quickly, horrified, from direction of ANNIE & stairwell)  
  


RACHEL  


Omigod! That's so gross! (to the boys) Do you know what Annie and that senior are, like, doing back there?!  
  


JAKE  


(despondent) Don't even mention it.  
  
(lights fade on all but DAVE, still gazing pensively at audience)  
  


DAVE  


(to himself) Just tell her that you love her, it'll solve all your problems. I wonder what would happen if I just—  
  
(he looks directly at KATIE, for a long moment. Blackout on DAVE)  
  


KATIE  


(to audience) Jake got over her, fast. Teenage infatuation. (shakes head in disgust) Ain't it grand? (sighs, looks back up at sky) And Dave never said anything at all.  
  
(lights up on library. RACHEL, TAMMY, MAY, and DAVE are doing research, JAKE and ANDY are playing catch with a book)  


  
RACHEL  


This is, like, the dumbest project I've ever had.  
  


MAY  


Charting the American Revolution?  
  


RACHEL  


This book claims it started in 1765. That's gotta be wrong.  
  


TAMMY  


Stamp Act. I guess that makes sense.  
  


MAY  


But if Lexington and Concord were the shots heard round the world  
  
(JAKE misses; book falls with a bang)  
  


ANDY  


History lives!  
  


JAKE  


(retrieves book) You have lousy aim. (resumes playing catch)  
  


MAY  


(ignores them) So that was, what, 1775?  
  


TAMMY  


That was the literal start of the war. But the concepts behind the revolutionwhere's that book on the philosophy of the Revolution?  
  


RACHEL  


(gestures to game of catch) In mid-air.  
  


TAMMY  


(to JAKE and ANDY) Way to respect history, guys.  
  


JAKE  


Well, you know what they say. Time flies when you're having fun.  
  


RACHEL  


Ha. Ha. Ha.  
  


MAY  


Seriously, cut it out.  
  


ANDY  


(continues game) We've got all afternoon. Relax.  
  


RACHEL  


You wanna be in here all afternoon?  
  


ANDY  


Hey, you yourself said it was a dumb project.  
  


MAY  


Still gotta be done.  
  


JAKE  


Oh? Why?  
  


TAMMY  


Because when your stand-up comedian act fails miserably, you'll want an education to fall back on.  
  
(MATTHEW enters)  
  


RACHEL  


Look who's late.  
  


ANDY  


Hey, Matty boy! Monkey in the middle!  
  


MATTHEW  


(joins in) Now this is studying! (fails to get book, repeatedly)  
  


RACHEL  


How is this the American Revolution?  
  


MATTHEW  


The Patriots need some foreign aid. (grabs RACHEL, pulls her into game; she squeals)  
  


TAMMY  


So, what, she's the French?  
  


MATTHEW  


(eyes RACHEL) French? Not a bad idea.  
  


MAY  


Okay, dirty mind alert.  
  


MATTHEW  


Hey, I didn't say anything. You're the one who thought it. (leaps for book, misses. Game continues)  
  
(DAVE suddenly stands, snatches book out of mid-air. He returns to his seat, opens the book, and begins taking notes on it)  
  


JAKE  


Hey! What was that for?  
  


DAVE  


Stop acting so juvenile. The sooner we finish this, the sooner I can be home and on my computer.  
  


JAKE  


Jeez, you're starting to sound like Crazy Katie.  
  


MATTHEW  


Yeah, speaking of being late  
  


MAY  


She's not in our History class, genius.  
  


JAKE  


Hey, I kept forgetting to ask you, Dave. Remember when you and Katie got detention for trying to hack into the school security system, or something?  
  


DAVE  


That was a few months ago.  
  


JAKE  


I know, I know, but I wanted to know if you ever followed up on it.  
  


DAVE  


Yeah.  
  


TAMMY  


You mean, you actually hacked your way in?  
  


DAVE  


Yeah.  
  


RACHEL  


Did you, like, get caught again?  
  


DAVE  


No.  
  


MATTHEW  


So what'd you find? (DAVE is silent) C'mon, spill. Secret testing? Behavioral monitoring? Mind control?  
  


DAVE  


Nothing. Just a security system. Katie said they had gotten rid of the evidence after our first attempt.  
  


MATTHEW  


In other words, Katie's conspiracy theory was a load of bull.  
  


DAVE  


I didn't say that.  
  


MATTHEW  


It's all right. You thought it. (DAVE shrugs)  
  


JAKE  


Crazy Katie.  
  
(fade out on library)  
  


KATIE  


(to audience) They really do think I'm crazy. Intelligent, sure, but insanely paranoid, and I'm just joking around, anyway, right? It's ridiculous. I don't think they realize how serious I really am about it all.  
  
(as she speaks, lights go up on TAMMY's living room: her birthday party. All but KATIE assemble, in high spirits, arguing good-naturedly)  
  


MATTHEW  


Yeah, well I vote, video games!  
  


TAMMY  


Hey, it's my birthday, and I don't really want to raid my brother's collection.  
  


JAKE  


At least tell us what he's got?  
  


TAMMY  


(without hesitation) Tomb Raider, Goldeneye, Super Mario Brothers....  
  


JAKE  


But Tammy, I thought you didn't like video games!  
  


TAMMY  


Oh, shut up!  
  


MATTHEW  


C'mon, please? (pouts) How can you resist these sad, pleading, puppy-dog eyes?  
  


TAMMY  


(laughs) All right, Goldeneye it is! But I'm gonna beat your ass off.  
  


MATTHEW  


You're on.  
  


JAKE  


I play winner!  
  


ANNIE  


Anyone wanna place bets?  
  


EVAN  


Matthew!  
  


RACHEL  


Tammy!  
  


ANNIE  


(pulls notebook and pencil out of her purse as TAMMY and MATTHEW get game started) Okay, how about first kill? I'm for Tammy, because Matty will go easy on her, but he takes her out after that.  
  


EVAN  


They're probably evenly matched. I say alternative kills, but Matthew still takes the game.  
  


RACHEL  


No, come on, it's Tammy's birthday, she's gotta win!  
  
(they all crowd around video game, some with more interest than others. Sound fades as MAY wanders away, starts reading the birthday cards on display on a bookcase or table. After a few moments, ANDY joins her)  
  


ANDY  


It's not very nice to read other people's mail.  
  


MAY  


They're birthday cards, Andy. If she didn't want us to read them, she wouldn't put them on display.  
  


ANDY  


Uh-huh.  
  


MAY  


(reading from card) May God shower His blessings upon you on your joyous birthday.  
  


ANDY  


Ugh. I hate those cheesy ones.  
  


MAY  


So do I. (replaces card) Do you believe in God?  
  


ANDY  


Well, I'm Jewish. Ya know, there's only three of us in the entire sophomore class?  
  


MAY  


That didn't answer my question.  
  


ANDY  


(shrugs) I guess I believe in a God. I never really thought about it. It's just one of those things you accept on faith.  
  


MAY  


I don't know how you can just do that.  
  


ANDY  


Well, what religion were you raised?  
  


MAY  


Me? None, really. My parents never really cared about religious stuff. I mean, we put up a Christmas tree every year, and my sister and I used to hunt for Easter eggs, but that's it. It's all commercialized, anyway.  
  


ANDY  


I suppose. But it's kind of nice to think that there's some sort of all-powerful guy up there directing our lives.  
  


MAY  


You think it's nice? I think it's terrifying. I don't want anyone controlling my life except me.  
  


ANDY  


So you're an atheist or something?  
  


MAY  


Maybe. I don't know. What do you know about Wicca?  
  


ANDY  


Wicca? Like, the witch religion?  
  


MAY  


Not exactly. More nature-based. I've been doing a little reading on it, and I think it sounds interesting.  
  


ANDY  


You're kidding, right? I mean, that sounds like something your best friend would say.  
  


MAY  


Katie? Nah, she's more into the New Ager stuff. Or maybe an ultimate alien authority. And there's nothing wrong with Wicca.  
  


ANDY  


Well, I really don't know anything about it, so I guess I can't judge.  
  


MAY  


I wasn't serious about it, anyway. Just thinking.  
  


ANDY  


Where is Katie, anyway? I thought she would be here for the party!  
  


MAY  


She's kinda antisocial sometimes.  
  


ANDY  


Yeah, kinda.  
  


MAY  


So she's missing the video game. No great loss.  
  


MATTHEW  


(shoves between them) Hey, what's up?  
  


ANDY  


So who won?  
  


MATTHEW  


Tammy, can you believe it? I thought I had her creamed, then suddenly she completely ruled the game!  
  


MAY  


Matthew, what religion are you?  
  


MATTHEW  


Protestant.  
  


MAY  


Do you believe in God?  
  


MATTHEW  


Yeah, of course, who doesn't? Look, I hate to break it up, but it's cake time!  
  
(ALL jump up, run to cake. KATIE, for the first time, turns and watches them)  
  


ALL (except KATIE & TAMMY)  


(singing) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Tammy, happy birthday to you!  
  
(TAMMY blows out her candles. Cheers)  
  


RACHEL  


(hugs TAMMY) Sweet Sixteen!  
  
(blackout on party)  
  


KATIE  


(still looking after party, almost regretfully) I didn't have a good reason for not going. I just didn't feel like it. I thought the whole business was, well, sort of silly. (shakes head, turns to audience) A birthday is just another day out of 365. No difference, except we convince ourselves that they actually mean something. I almost forget mine, half the time. (looks up at sky again) Besides, who would wish _me_ a Sweet Sixteen?  
  
(lights up on a basketball court. It's a game of 2 on 2: EVAN and MATTHEW vs. JAKE and ANDY. DAVE is watching from the side)  
  


MATTHEW  


So, who all is going to the dance on Friday?  
  


JAKE  


Oh, come on, school dances are lame.  
  


MATTHEW  


It's not the dance that's important. It's after the dance that's important. So who's going?  
  


ANDY  


We all are, moron, you know that.  
  


MATTHEW  


Perhaps I should rephrase my question. What girls are going?  
  


ANDY  


See, now, you should have said that the first time around.  
  


EVAN  


Well, I know for sure that Annie, May, Tammy, and Rachel are going.  
  


DAVE  


And Katie, don't forget Katie. She goes wherever they go.  
  


EVAN  


I wouldn't think that this would be Crazy Katie's sort of thing.  
  


JAKE  


Yeah, nothing weird happens at a dance. No spiritual enlightenments. No little green men mingling with the high school students. And all those security cameras to watch out for! How could she possibly enjoy herself?  
  


DAVE  


Just shut up. None of you really know her.  
  


EVAN  


Right, and I suppose you do? You aren't as ridiculous as Crazy Katie, you can't understand her any more than the rest of us.  
  


DAVE  


She's not ridiculous. I bet she doesn't really believe in all that stuff, anyway. She just pretends to because it amuses her.  
  


EVAN  


Or maybe she just wants attention.  
  


ANDY  


Why does it matter what Katie believes or doesn't believe? Just play the game.  
  
(DAVE turns and stalks away)  
  


JAKE  


What's his problem?  
  


ANDY  


Who cares? He wasn't playing, anyway.  
  
(fade out on the boys)  
  


KATIE  


(to audience) They all think they understand my motives. Even my parents chalk it up to misguided genius, a focused weirdness. They don't know shit about the things I do. (goes back to staring at the sky) Like, they look at the summer sky, and all they see are stars.  
  


VOICE (offstage)  


Welcome. You've got mail!  
  
(lights go up on DAVID, sitting at his computer. As he reads each name, lights go up briefly on that person. All but KATIE are at their computers)  
  


DAVE  


(mimicking) You've got mail. How unusual. (reading) From: W8ingAlone. To: Davey123. CC: LateSpring1...  
  


KATIE  


(interrupts) May.  
  


DAVE  


...Brainy104...  
  


KATIE  


(interrupts) Tammy.  
  


DAVE  


...Chicky16...  
  


KATIE  


(interrupts) Rachel.  
  


DAVE  


...Going666...  
  


KATIE  


(interrupts) Annie.  
  


DAVE  


...BsktBall73...  
  


KATIE  


(interrupts) Andy.  
  


DAVE  


...Jaker925...  
  


KATIE  


(interrupts) Jake.  
  


DAVE  


...Da1ULove...  
  


KATIE  


(interrupts) Matthew.  
  


DAVE  


...FadezOut.  
  


KATIE  


(interrupts) Evan.  
  


DAVE  


Subject—  
  


DAVE & KATIE  


The dance.  
  


DAVE  


(aside) So, Katie, what's the excuse this month?  
  


DAVE & KATIE  


(DAVE is reading, KATIE reciting) Have fun at the school dance, ye socialite sheep, if that's possible. Sadly, I have developed a severe allergy to crowded social situations that involve music and mingling, and also a sudden craving for the small, inadequate New Age section of the library. Adios.  
  


DAVE  


(forlornly, shakes his head) Crazy Katie.  


  


(lights down on DAVE, up on ANNIE and RACHEL, both at their computers)  
  


ANNIE  


Hey Rachel.  
  


RACHEL  


Hi Annie!!! (RACHEL always reads out punctuation; i.e. is read exclamation mark) Wuzzup???  
  


ANNIE  


Enjoying your punctuation today?  
  


RACHEL  


LOL!!!!!  
  


ANNIE  


(aside) Jeez.  
  


RACHEL  


Did Katie leave her computer or something????  
  


ANNIE  


What?  
  


RACHEL  


I've sent her like twelve messages and she hasn't responded!!!  
  


ANNIE  


She's probably ignoring you. (aside) Don't blame her.  
  


RACHEL  


Hey!!! Meanie!!!!! j/k!!!!!  
  
(lights down on them, up on MAY and TAMMY, at their computers)  
  


TAMMY  


Okay, May, tell me truly. Katie died at the computer, didn't she?  
  


MAY  


Nope.  
  


TAMMY  


What then?  
  


MAY  


Last thing she typed to me was that she'd found a website that listed every known or potential UFO hot spot in the United States.  
  


TAMMY  


And she's looking for the one nearest us?  
  


MAY  


This was half an hour ago.  
  


TAMMY  


I wish I could be surprised by this.  
  


MAY  


But why bother?  
  


TAMMY  


Right. So, about that dance....  
  
(lights down on them, up on JAKE and EVAN, at their computers)  
  


JAKE  


Did you get Katie's e-mail?  
  


EVAN  


Yeah.  
  


JAKE  


(reading) Sadly, I've developed a severe allergy to social situations....  
  


EVAN  


She's always gotta come off as smarter than the rest of us.  
  


JAKE  


More focused. Driven.  
  


EVAN  


Noble.  
  


JAKE  


Self-sacrificing.  
  


EVAN  


Pretentious little bitch.  
  


JAKE  


She's not that bad.  
  


EVAN  


Sure, man, whatever you say.  
  
(lights down on them, up on MATTHEW and ANDY, at their computers)  
  


ANDY  


So, do we feel guilty about the dance yet?  
  


MATTHEW  


Huh?  
  


ANDY  


After Crazy Katie's subtle chiding?  
  


MATTHEW  


Oh, that.  
  


ANDY  


Yeah, that.  
  


MATTHEW  


I think I deleted it by mistake.  
  


ANDY  


I don't blame you.  
  


MATTHEW  


It wasn't on purpose!  
  


ANDY  


Uh-huh.  
  


MATTHEW  


Who you asking to the dance, anyway?  
  
(lights now go up on each pair as they speak, faster and faster, confusingly)  
  


RACHEL  


(to ANNIE) Matthew had so better ask me. He's so cute!!!  
  


ANDY  


(to MATTHEW) I think you know.  
  


RACHEL  


(to ANNIE) Or Andy's not so bad.  
  


JAKE  


(to EVAN) Not like I'd ask her.  
  


RACHEL  


(to ANNIE) Then there's Jake.  
  


EVAN  


(to JAKE) Bet Dave's disappointed.  
  


RACHEL  


(to ANNIE) And Evan's pretty hot.  
  


TAMMY  


(to MAY) Maybe I should do the asking.  
  


ANNIE  


(to RACHEL, forcefully) Evan's mine.  
  


MAY  


(to TAMMY) Well, why not?  
  


MATTHEW  


(to ANDY) Shall I guess?  
  


RACHEL  


(to ANNIE) Ooooooh!!!!!  
  


JAKE  


(to EVAN) Depends on if Davey123 has checked his mail yet. And you?  
  
(lights go up on only the one speaking and the one who's screen name they speak)  
  


ANDY  


LateSpring1.  
  


EVAN  


Going666.  
  


TAMMY  


Jaker925.  
  


ANNIE  


FadezOut.  
  


MAY  


BsktBall73.  
  


MATTHEW  


Chicky16.  
  


RACHEL  


Da1ULove.  
  


JAKE  


Brainy104.  
  
(lights on DAVID, alone)  
  


DAVE  


(pleadingly, to his computer) W8ingAlone....  
  
(lights up on all)  
  


BOYS (except DAVE)  


Wanna go to the dance?  
  


GIRLS (except KATIE)  


Sure.  
  
(lights down on all but DAVE and KATIE)  
  


DAVE  


(at computer, typing) Send to—W8ingAlone. Subject—Re: The danceYour choice, Katie. BTW, I heard about your web search. The nearest hot spot is about 20 miles from us, over the open ocean. Three ships have reported sightings since 1947. Good luck.  
  


VOICE (offstage)  


Your mail has been sent. (DAVE slams keyboard in frustration, lights down on him) Goodbye.  
  


KATIE  


(to the audience) And then there were none. (the couples enter, each pair separate, as KATIE watches disgustedly) They all make me sick, they really do. I can't stand spending time with them any more. So I come to this little beach, at night, alone. (gaze returns to the sky) I know there's gotta be more to life than this crap. But I'm stuck here.  
  
(spotlight on each couple as they speak. DAVE moves from couple to couple. KATIE remains at center, lights on her now as always, still staring at the sky)  
  
(ANNIE and EVAN are passing a cigarette, or something like it, back and forth)  
  


ANNIE  


(takes a drag) I hate this place.  
  


EVAN  


We all do.  
  


ANNIE  


(passes cigarette to EVAN, who takes a drag, and so forth) Some escape this is.  
  


EVAN  


The more you want to get away, the stronger the tools you use. Want something a little stronger, baby?  
  


ANNIE  


Anything. (pause, drag) Think this is as potent as the stuff Crazy Katie uses?  
  


EVAN  


With her bizarre mind? Nah, she definitely gets high on the strongest.  
  


ANNIE  


Doesn't last long enough for her, either.  
  


EVAN  


And so she resorts to other methods. I figure, one day we'll wake up, and she'll be gone, and no one will ever see hide or hair of her again.  
  


DAVE  


(wanders over) Hey, Annie, Evan, have you seen Katie?  
  


EVAN  


Nope, neither hide nor hair. (they laugh)  
  


DAVE  


(clueless) Yeah, whatever.  
  


ANNIE  


Why don't you try her house? She's got nowhere else to be.  
  


DAVE  


I did. Her mom said she thought Katie was with a friend. So I'm looking for her friends.  
  


EVAN  


Well, don't look with us. Why are you trying to find her, anyway?  
  


DAVE  


Oh, no reason.  
  
(lights off on them, up on RACHEL and MATTHEW)  
  


MATTHEW  


What's wrong? Cold?  
  


RACHEL  


No, just a little sad. I haven't seen any of our friends since, like, school ended.  
  


MATTHEW  


I wonder what they're all up to.  
  


RACHEL  


Spending quality time with their respective attachments, I expect. (moves closer to him)  
  


MATTHEW  


Well, that's their personal business, isn't it? I'd rather focus on the here and now.  
  


RACHEL  


I know. Still, like, what about Katie? She's not in any relationship that I've heard of. Or is she?  
  


MATTHEW  


No, Crazy Katie's probably just hacking into the Department of Defense, or chasing UFOs, or expanding her collection of mood rings, or something.  
  


RACHEL  


I wouldn't be surprised.  
  


DAVE  


(wanders over) Hey Matthew, Rachel.  
  


MATTHEW  


Hey Davey, long time no see, what up?  
  


DAVE  


I'm trying to find Katie. She seems to have vanished into thin air.  
  


RACHEL  


(giggles) Or, like, spontaneously combusted.  
  


MATTHEW  


Huh?  
  


RACHEL  


Spontaneous combustion. It's, like, one of her theories.  
  


KATIE  


(as if in voiceover) I'm a firm believer of the spontaneity theory. We spontaneously appeared, we will someday spontaneously die out, and in the meanwhile we spontaneously combust every now and then.  
  


MATTHEW  


Whatever.  
  


DAVE  


I take it you don't know where she is, either.  
  


RACHEL  


Nope. But it's funny, we were, like, just talking about Crazy Katie.  
  


MATTHEW  


Why are you looking for her?  
  


DAVE  


I want to ask her a few questions.  
  


RACHEL  


Like?  
  


DAVE  


I want to know if she really is as crazy as we all think.  
  
(lights fade on them, up on TAMMY and JAKE)  
  


TAMMY  


The summer goes by so fast! It's almost August already.  
  


JAKE  


I sorta wish time could stop right now.  
  


TAMMY  


So do I. I love life just the way it is at this precise moment.  
  


JAKE  


It seems like we're the only ones that do.  
  


TAMMY  


I know. Annie and Evan try to escape it all through narcotics, Rachel and Matthew don't even notice the world around them, May and Andy think that they should always be careful and delay enjoying themselves because they're waiting for something better, Dave just wanders around aimlessly and pretends he's oblivious even though he's not, and Crazy Katie seeks a way out through her insane obsessions. Fact is, they're all waiting for something....  
  


JAKE  


....and we just live as it happens, and don't want anything more except for it to keep happening just like it is.  
  


TAMMY  


Is this happiness?  
  


JAKE  


I think so.  
  


DAVE  


(wanders over) Have either of you seen Katie recently?  
  


JAKE  


No, why?  
  


DAVE  


Well, I'm looking for her.  
  


TAMMY  


Granted. You know, you should really ask her out.  
  


DAVE  


What?  
  


TAMMY  


I'm serious, don't look at me as though I've sprouted horns.  
  


JAKE  


You two are perfect for each other.  
  


DAVE  


I don't want a girlfriend.  
  


JAKE  


Yeah, sure.  
  


TAMMY  


Then why are you looking for her?  
  


JAKE  


Let her chase her own paranoid suspicions.  
  


DAVE  


But I—  
  
(lights fade on them, up on MAY and ANDY)  
  


MAY  


It's such a gorgeous night. So peaceful. So many stars.  
  


ANDY  


I can hardly keep my eyes on the stars.  
  


MAY  


(pushes him lightly) Stop being silly, Andy.  
  


ANDY  


Okay, okay, I'll look at the stars. (he does for a second) May?  
  


MAY  


Yes?  
  


ANDY  


Why am I looking at the stars?  
  


MAY  


Because there are so many of them?  
  


ANDY  


Yeah, so?  
  


MAY  


Oh, I don't know!  
  


ANDY  


Wait, I get it, you're trying to trick me into helping you find Crazy Katie's home planet, aren't you?  
  


MAY  


(sighs, gently sarcastic) Why yes Andy, you are so right. (ANDY beams at her)  
  


DAVE  


(wanders over) Okay, you're my last hope. Do you know where Katie is?  
  


ANDY  


(points to the stars) She's gone home!  
  


DAVE  


Funny. Very funny. Seriously, have you seen or spoken to her lately, May?  
  


MAY  


I talked to her yesterday evening. She was on her way out, though.  
  


DAVE  


Out where?  
  


MAY  


Why are you so desperate to talk to her? Is something wrong?  
  


DAVE  


No, of course not, I just want to see her, is all.  
  


ANDY  


(taunting) Ooooooooooh!  
  


DAVE  


Shut up. It's not like that.  
  


MAY  


Yesterday she said she was going to the little beach down past Celeste Park.  
  


DAVE  


(to himself, remembering) The nearest hot spot is about 20 miles from us, over the open ocean. (back to MAY) Do you know why?  
  


MAY  


No. I don't know if she wants company, though.  
  


DAVE  


That's all right, I'll leave if she doesn't want me to be there.  
  
(lights fade out on everyone except DAVE, who goes over to KATIE. Throughout the scene, she doesn't look at him once, but continues staring at sky)  
  


DAVE  


What are you doing?  
  


KATIE  


Waiting.  
  


DAVE  


Waiting for what?  
  


KATIE  


Them.  
  


DAVE  


What, aliens? (KATIE doesn't respond) You don't really believe in that shit, do you?  
  


KATIE  


Yes.  
  


DAVE  


Have you ever seen them?  
  


KATIE  


Nope.  
  


DAVE  


You come here every night?  
  


KATIE  


Yeah.  
  


DAVE  


How late do you stay out here?  
  


KATIE  


Maybe two, three AM. My parents don't care; they think I'm at parties or something. You know, stuff a normal teenager does.  
  


DAVE  


So you just wait here, watching for them. Every night.  
  


KATIE  


Yeah.  
  


DAVE  


Do you think they'll come tonight?  
  


KATIE  


Probably not.  
  


DAVE  


Then why are you out here?  
  


KATIE  


Just in case.  
  


DAVE  


You're crazy, you know that? (KATIE smiles. DAVE turns away, starts to leave, then turns back, tentatively) But you do think—  
  


KATIE  


(positively) They'll come.  
  
(DAVE looks at her for a moment, then sits down beside her and stares up at the sky. Fade out)  
  
END OF PLAY


End file.
